GUEST
INTERVIEW FOR “MASS MUSINGS”
With
Hy Conrad (Author of “Things
Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know”)
Welcome
to Mass Musings. We're so glad you could take a moment to chat with
us today.
BK
Please
tell us a little bit about yourself that isn't included in your
bio...
HY
My
career has been based on the simple act of answering the phone.
Apparently, I’m no good at self-promotion, but very good at
answering phones. It’s happened a dozen times.
For
example, I had never even thought of writing for TV when I got a call
from Andy Breckman. He had found a few of my solve-it-yourself books
and tracked me down. I believe his exact words were, “I’m either
going to steal your plots or hire you to write for me. Your choice.”
His new
show turned out to be “Monk”
and it kept me happily employed for the next eight years.
BK
What do
you like to do when you're not writing?
HY
I wish I
had an answer for that one. Most of the writers I know don’t have
very fulfilling lives. Flaubert said, “Be regular
and orderly
in
your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.”
But I think he was just making excuses for being boring.
I do go
to the gym when I can. And I’m studying Italian every day. As a
teenager, I was nearly fluent, but I haven’t spoken it much since.
BK
What
inspired you to write “Things
Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know?”
HY
Our
inspiration came from a series of late-night infomercials. “Things
the Banks Don’t Want You to Know.” Things the Government Doesn’t
Want You to Know.” The idea of dogs not wanting you to know their
secrets seemed like a natural. Why do puppies bite? Why do dogs
lean out of car windows? What do they do while you’re gone all
afternoon?
Once we
actually got into the book, we found there were relatively few things
that dogs kept from us. For the most part, they ‘re eager to
communicate, if it weren’t for that pesky language barrier. So the
title may be a little misleading. But it’s a great title.
Like
many humor books these days, this one began as a blog. We started
posting on the most obvious topics: “What We Do When You’re Gone”
or “Sticking My Head Out The Car Window.”
Our idea
was to keep them generic, in a sort of Everydog persona. But we soon
realized that the humor was in the specifics. It was funnier if the
dog had a real personality, and even funnier if we invented a variety
of “blogging dogs”, each with a radically different personality.
We wound
up creating eleven dogs, from tiny and obnoxious (Tinkerbell, author
of “My Life in Your Purse”) to large and dumb (Axelrod, author of
“The Reason I Ate the Sofa”). And we gave each dog an arc, which
is a writerly term for “all the little stories add up to
something.” For example, Sarge is a German Shepherd and a working
dog. In each of his stories, he gets a new job and it always winds
up being a disaster. By the time Sarge tells his tenth story, he has
finally been adopted by a great family. But he still thinks it’s a
job, and this one he doesn’t want to lose.
BK
If
you're dogs could talk, how would they describe you?
HY
My dogs
are very impressed by my smell. They also appreciate my regular
habits and my desire to walk around the block several times a day.
If I have a fault, I think they would say it’s my memory.
Sometimes I forget to give them enough treats.
BK
What
pops to mind that is the funniest thing you're dogs have ever done?
HY
We once
had a dog who’d lost some of the use of his hindquarters. One day,
I was carrying him through the lobby of a trendy, boutique hotel and
stopped to talk to the manager. A few seconds later, I realized Jake
had pooped in my hand. I continued standing there, talking and
pretending that nothing had happened. Then we went right up to the
room and both had a bath.
BK
What is
your most favorite breed?
HY
I always
had dogs when I was a kid. Later, as an adult, I held a Boston
Terrier up to my face and discovered I’d become allergic.
Miniature schnauzers, I found, are hypo-allergenic, don’t shed and
are wonderfully adventurous. We are now on our third generation of
schnauzers, Charlie and Nelson. The others are buried at the top of
our hill in Vermont. Nelson loves to pee on the marker.
I
imagine many people are like us in this respect. One gets used to a
certain look and personality and that becomes your breed. Whether
real, or simply imagined by their owners, different breeds have
distinctly different characteristics.
BK
What
emotions did you experience when your book was finally published and
you held it in your hands?
HY
My
co-author Jeff and I spent a lot of time trying to get the book to
look great. We argued over a dozen designs, from the cover to the
illustrations. Finally when Dean (our art director) and the
publisher sent us the real book, we were blown away. The look was so
appealing and inviting.
BK
How did
you and your co-author meet?
HY
Jeff and
I have known each other for 33 years, which is way too long. I’d
like to say we met in grade school, but that’s not true. It was in
New York when we were beginning our careers, Jeff as a psychologist
and me as a playwright. We became best friends from the moment we
met.
BK
If you
could go anywhere in the world and take one person and one item with
you, where would you go, who & what would you take?
HY
I love
to travel and have been to a lot of places. One dream destination
that may go unfulfilled is Angel Falls, the tallest waterfall in the
world. It’s in a remote part of Venezuela. You have to hike and
go by dugout canoe – and then sleep in hammocks with mosquitoes.
It’s very Indiana Jones. In fact, that’s who I’d like to go
with; Indiana Jones.
BK
What are
you reading now?
HY
I read
for work. Alas. If I’m not doing research, then I’m reading a
script for a friend or catching up on old New
Yorker magazines. The last
books I read were three “Monk” novels written by Lee Goldberg.
BK
Favorite
author of all time?
HY
You’ve
probably never heard of him. E.F. Benson, a British writer from the
1920s and 30s. He wrote a series called the “Mapp and Lucia”
books. They’re light and insightful and utterly charming. I was
depressed for days when I realized that there were only six and that
I was reading number six.
BK
Last
movie you've seen?
HY
This is
the beginning of awards season in the movie biz, which means all the
studios mail out DVDs of their films to the people who vote. It’s
like early Christmas and you don’t have to go to a theatre for the
next six months. The latest one I watched was “The “Dark Knight
Rises”. I have to say, I was impressed. Very well plotted.
BK
What can
we expect from you next?
HY
I’m
always writing something. It’s my job and only hobby. Most
recently I was asked by the USA Network and Obsidian Press to take
over writing the “Monk” novels, a successful series of books
based on the characters from the TV show. My friend Lee Goldberg
wrote the first 15, and I’ve been asked to write 16 and 17.
As soon
as I have a chance, I plan to finish the second novel in my Abel
Adventures Mystery series, about a woman who leads tour groups around
the world and always runs into murder. The first book in the series,
“Rally ‘Round The Corpse” is available now.
BK
Thank you so much for stopping by.
GENRE:
Humor, pets
PUBLISHER:
Sourcebooks
RELEASE
DATE: April 2012
Blurb:
Why
do dogs eat furniture when there are endless chew toys nearby?
Why
do they always dash to a rug when they have to throw up?
And
why are they always absolutely starving?
Things
Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know
answers the questions that dog owners have asked for centuries. The
book is a collection of 115 humorous essays that reveal the truth
behind some of the most baffling canine behavior, their hopes and
dreams, their grudges and pleasures, and what they really think about
us humans. Peppered with lively, clever stories and visually
appealing photographs, Things
Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know
is a verbal and visual delight that is laugh-out-loud funny. If
you have dogs, love dogs, or have ever been baffled by a dog, this
book is a must-have.
Topics
include:
My
Life in Your Purse
by Tinkerbell, the Chihuahua
Waiting
by the Table
(for food scraps, of course!) by Orson, the bulldog
The
Bed Rules
(Rule #1—It’s my bed) by Dimples, the boxer
The
Reason I Ate the Sofa (leather
tastes a lot like rawhide) by Axelrod, the yellow lab
I
Can Poop the Second I Start My Walk
(but choose not to) by Sophie, the cocker spaniel
Things
Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know
is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indigo, Target, on
e-books and at independent bookstores everywhere. For more
information, go to www.ThingsYourDog.com
where you can also ask questions about your own dog’s behavior and
learn the secrets they have been keeping from you!
PRAISE
FOR THINGS YOUR DOG
DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW
“A
whimsical delight for dog lovers everywhere, this book will charm and
remind readers why they fell in love with Rover to begin with.”
(Publishers Weekly Starred
Review)
“I
laughed, my dog howled.”
(Steve Martin)
“This
is the perfect book for anyone who owns a dog, has ever owned one, or
knows what a dog is. These guys made me laugh out loud—and captured
my heart at the same time. The book is simply irresistible.”
(Tony Shalhoub, star of the TV series Monk)
ABOUT
HY CONRAD
Best
known for his work in mysteries, Hy was one of the original writers
for the groundbreaking series, Monk,
working on the show for all eight seasons, the final two as
Co-Executive Producer. In a related project, Hy was Executive
Producer and head writer of Little
Monk, a series of short
films featuring Adrian Monk as a ten-year-old. His latest TV work
was as writer and Consulting Producer for White
Collar.
Hy is
also the author of hundreds of short stories and ten books of short
whodunits, which have been sold around the world in fourteen
languages. Hy’s first mystery novel series, Abel Adventures, will
debut in 2012 with the publication of Rally
‘Round the Corpse. And
his first full-length comedy/mystery play, Home
Exchange, premiered at the
Waterfront Playhouse in May 2012. He lives in Key West with his
partner and two miniature schnauzers. (www.hyconrad.com)
ABOUT
JEFF JOHNSONJeff spent
most of his working life in advertising agencies, currently as
General Manager of Cramer-Krasselt in New York City. He is the
author of The Hourglass
Solution: A Boomer’s Guide to the Rest of Your Life
and co-authors (with Paula Forman) a national online advice column
called Short Answers,
which also appears in newspapers all along the east coast (from
Massachusetts to Florida). Jeff lives in Vermont and Key West and is
on the Board of Directors of the Waterfront Playhouse and the Florida
Keys SPCA.
Blanca,
who is known as Lavayna to her students, has been a vessel for
healing for over 11 years. Her passion for spirituality began when
she was intrigued by a talk-show that was discussing angelic
communications. Curious to see what would happen, Blanca attempted to
communicate with her angel and to her utter surprise, succeeded. This
was the beginning of a life-long mission and purpose for Blanca to be
of divine service.
